why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
