even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize