how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
