I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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