I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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