Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
