margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
