You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
