Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
