If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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