so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
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She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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