I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
