I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we made out on top of his cat.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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