My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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