Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
