After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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