I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize