Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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