shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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