There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
