I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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