how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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