Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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