My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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