I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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