how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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