why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
