i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
