she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
