Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize