Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
