Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
