burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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