yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
