Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
