i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
