we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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