College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
