The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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