i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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