plz talk dirty to me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
