You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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