We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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