Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
