sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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