my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
