Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
