Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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