Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
