I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
