so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
