three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
