im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
