wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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