3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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