it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
