I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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