He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
