Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
