So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I love you. Go after that dick
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
