I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
