ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
