thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
