There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
