She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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