no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can I color on your dick again?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
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She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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