He passed out mid-signature
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
