I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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